It was exactly a year ago when our company was hit with the Covid crap. My position in Talent Acquisition had pretty much been eliminated since we were not planning on hiring ANYONE. Knowing this, I still believed I would be one of the last to go. Human Resources usually had to stay behind and clean up the reduction in force aftermath.

Wrong.

So now I am sitting in my boss’s office stunned and disappointed. For one of the very few moments in my life, I was speechless but my brain was going full speed ahead with a thousand questions.

Do I have any chance of getting my job back?

How long will this last?

What can I do about my family benefits?

I glance at the letter being shoved across the table and read the words but they don’t register. I finally fold it back neatly into the envelope and figure I would do this gracefully. Being resentful wasn’t going to help anyone. I had dedicated seven years of my life to this job and was proud of my achievements. The wealth of knowledge I had gained would have to benefit me somehow so I walk on shaky legs to my desk and thankfully there is an empty box I could throw my personal belongings into quickly.

I’m not gonna lie, the feeling of “why me” tried to creep its way into my head but I know the reason and had to understand this wasn’t easy for management either. While collecting my things, I hear my now ex-boss laughing in her office with another employee who had walked in. Yes, the same office where I had just lost my job. I want to be out of there before the employee walks back out and sees me with my box.

That would have been delightfully embarrassing, to say the least.

The coast is clear and I am able to make it into my car without crossing paths with anyone. As I sit there, the urge to bawl my eyes out is strong but I hold it in check. I am sad to leave all the great people who work for this company but I am even more saddened for those who were at that moment, also sitting in an office somewhere in the building, losing their jobs in such a time of crisis.

I’ve been on the other side of this debacle and it’s almost as hard knowing people are going to lose their jobs as it is actually losing YOUR job. The guilt is a bear and I tried my best to have empathy and compassion.

Many months later, I would come to realize that while I loved my job, the situation was not ideal for me. I don’t say this because of the company, but because other areas of my life have been enriched.

I’ll go into this subject a little more in another post!

Stay tuned and take care of yourselves,

*I would love to hear from you. Please join in on the comments!